Barbara

It’s hard to believe that our Barbara went to be with Jesus 36 days ago. For me personally it has felt like 6 months. Sometimes it’s still hard to believe she’s really gone. I’ve wanted to write something about her but didn’t know where to start. To make it simple, I thought I would share a few things I frequently think about. I’m a “list” person so I’ll write in bullet point fashion. :)

Barbara was a “Proverbs 31 Wife” as some would call it.

“An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.”
–Proverbs 31:10-12

One look at my dad and there’s no denying he was head over heals for this woman. “A perfect match” I’ve always called them. She was his prize and gift from God. She loved and respected him. She modeled for me what it’s like to be a godly wife. In every conversation we had before she passed away, she NEVER once seemed to think about herself. All her concerns and thoughts were for my dad. In a situation that could easily become self-consuming, she focused on his future well being.

She loved to decorate. I so wish she was here because I’m having the hardest time getting our house to look the way I want it. I’ve often thought how I would totally pay her to be my interior decorator! Haha. Every time I go to Bed Bath and Beyond or Pier One, I can’t help but think “Oh, I wonder if Barbara would like this?” My dad recently told me how she would buy a vase and bring it home only to exchange it 4 more times until she found the perfect one. This made me laugh because I am the SAME EXACT way!

She loved sweets. I think about past holidays and how she and her tiny self would always go back for a second piece of pie. It was always a joke between her and my dad. She would have the cutest little smile on her face when he’d poke fun at her.

And most importantly, she had great faith in Jesus Christ. After getting to spend some time together earlier this year, I was blessed to hear more about Barbara’s faith. She shared that, in a way, she viewed her cancer almost as a blessing. Now, I’m not saying she was skipping around excited to be going through this, quite the opposite at times, but she knew God had used this illness to draw her to Him. Getting her second diagnosis brought her to a point where she truly realized she had no other choice but to rely on God. Although it was extremely hard, painful, scary, sad, heart-breaking, frustrating and every other negative adjective you could use, she viewed her sickness as God’s grace in her life. Through this, she truly wanted to follow Him. She trusted what Jesus did on the cross for her and knew nothing she did could earn her way to heaven. For her it was about surrendering to Him and accepting the grace He so lavishly pours on us. I have no doubt she desires for everyone she loved to accept this same gift.

“In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, which he lavished upon us…” -Ephesians 1:8

I know she is in Heaven now experiencing complete joy and happiness. We miss her and never stop thinking about her. We’re not sad for her anymore but for us. As I go about my days I always think “I wonder what she’s doing right now?” The first thing I imagine is her smiling……